I dont know where to begin. As this process of adoption continues to progress, I just had to start recording everything. So many milestones and so many amazing stories that I never want to forget. So much will be very private that Kent might kill me for sharing to the whole world but at least we will have a record of it in the end, as well as the birth mom. Something for her to follow to watch her angel.hmmmmmmmmmm.....
I suppose square one sounds good for a start.
Two years of trying this month. Not too long you say? Well I guess thats your opinion. But in a way you are right. It really has flown by. It has probably been about a month or so since we decided that we wanted to abopt. It has been something that Kent and I talk about casually on occasion but nothing that I ever thought would actually happen. I don't want to say that Kent and I ever really struggled with the infertility thing. I only see it as a blessing in our life. Of course I had my times of just breaking because I truly thought that I was pregnant and I wanted to feel another baby grow. I only remember one actual, real, horrible break down. I just knew I was pregnant. I even took a test that said it was negative, but apparently I was not taking NO for an answer. haha. (I must have taken it too early, right?) So a week passes and still nothing. Things were looking up. Then one day I went home for lunch and Kent was home too, thankfully. I went to the bathroom and there it was. staring at me. I lost it. I cried and cried and cried. Finally got myself together and had to get back to work. Hopped in the car to head back. Cried the whole drive. Pulled myself together, again, and went inside. (I must have had it written all over my face) One look at me and the Principal asks, "whats wrong, Janelle?" WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! The fireworks busted out and weren't gonig anywhere. I literally could not stop crying. (poor guy, I felt so bad, he just asked a simple question) I gave him a brief description of what was wrong, I dont think he wanted the whole story (haha) and he just sent me home. It was a rough couple of days. I was back on my feet and from then on I just never expected pregnancy again.
I had done some minor research on adoption through LDS Family Servies and learned that they now require Dr note of infertility. HMMM I thought. A couple of months went by and said to Kent, lets just adopt (half joking half serious) and he says "give them a call" So I did. It was so simple for us. That is my favorite part of this whole process. I haven't looked back once. Some people may think this is a HUGE, life changing choice, shouldn't you really ponder about this? Well I say to them, you got the first part right but that is it. It is because it is such a huge decision that it was so easy. With something like this, I feel like you are either in or you're out. No tittering on the fence here. Another reason is I am technically infertile right now. We havn't really tried too much of infertitly medicine except for one month worth. I don't know why, but I just didn't feel like that road was for us right now. I am so young, creepin' up on 25 here (eeek!) Adoption was just screaming our name I suppose. I firgure after this journey, we could always go back to the crazy drugs.....or not. Either way, I have time.
